Six Things Women Need in A Relationship

Women are creatures flavorings. These 6 things women need in a relationship :

1. They need to feel protected.
2. They need to feel appreciated.
3. They need to feel like they can count on you.
4. They need a serious commitment.
5. They need to feel comfortable and open with you.
6. They need to be loved, unconditionally.

A man who treats his woman like a princess is a proof that he has been born and raised in the arms of a queen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wanita adalah makhluk yang perasa. Di sini ada 6 hal yang wanita butuhkan dalam sebuah hubungan :

1. Mereka perlu merasa di lindungi.
2. Mereka perlu merasa di hargai.
3. Mereka perlu merasa seperti mereka dapat mengandalkan kamu.
4. Mereka membutuhkan hubungan yang serius.
5. Mereka perlu merasa nyaman dan terbuka dengan kamu.
6. Mereka perlu di cintai, tanpa syarat.

Seorang pria yang memperlakukan wanitanya seperti seorang putri adalah sebuah bukti bahwa dia lahir dan di besarkan di tangan seorang ratu.

 

The Difference Between FALLING IN LOVE And Actually LOVING SOMEONE

This love is real. It’s beautiful. It’s inspiring. And it is selfless.

All of us grow up with different perfections of what this phenomenon really is. We pick up bits and pieces from all those romantic movies, those sappy songs, and all the age-old love stories to form an expectation of what this “love” might entail. Some of us believe it to be a source of unlimited happiness and joy for us. Some of us just long for the passion and excitement that love is bound to bring. And some of us just want to experience a complete fairytale, just like the one in the movies.

Whatever our expectations and theories about love may be, we all share one thought in common initially : that love is only about us, about finding our own joy, about making our own life better. And we tend to ignore the fact that for love to be truly beautiful, it NEEDS to be selfless. We need to think more about what we can give rather than about what we can take from it. Only then do we enter the possibility of finding our own fairytale, or making our life eternally happy, and of truly finding ‘the one’.

The journey from this initial selfishness towards true and selfless love is reflected in the differences between “falling in love” and actually “loving someone”. Read ahead to find out whether your perfections about love are at the initial stages or have evoled towards something more mature and meaningful :

FALLING IN LOVE

You meet someone. You like them. You go on few dates together. You get to know them better. And with every meeting, you start to like them even more. You find yourself thinking about them dan and night. They have even managed to make appearances in your dreams. The thoughts of their beautiful smile, the way they tell you their stories with so much passion in their eyes, the way they tease you and laugh it off mischievously, the way they make your heart pound faster every time they move an inch closer, all of it has consumed your mind.

The excitement of seeing them again, of touching them, of feeling their skin next to yours is something you are unable to contain. They are all you want to talk about and all you want to feel. And you end up wondering that maybe and finally, you have met your one true soul mate.

All these feelings and emotions, they are just too unreal and too overwhelming. You feel like this new person in your life is the answer to all your prayers. They are everything you ever wanted, everything you ever desire and much more. You need to be with them. You need to see their smile every day. You need to hear voice. You need to touch them. You need to hold them close.

And in between all these uncontrollable needs and desires, you forget this one essential truth : falling in love with someone is literally altering the chemicals in your brain! In these initial stages of your infatuation, your hormones are out of control, your pupils dilate every time they are near, and you even feel a little nauseous from the excitement of seeing them again.

So what happens when the chemicals in your brain finally come to rest, when the initial excitement and romance start to decrease, and when you finally allow yourself to come back to the realities of life? You realize that this new person is not exactly an anget sent from above, like you thought in the start.

They have come with their own set of flaws, faults, and imperfections. And you are left wondering whether this person actually is the one for you or if your body chemistry has played a trick on you yet again. Now we are not asking to disregard all the feelings and the unlimited excitement and passion that you feel in the start.

Left it enter your life, feel the joy fill your heart, and enjoy falling in love! But be prepared for what is next. Be prepared for your feelings to change. And be prepared to face  the hard times along with the good ones.

LOVING SOMEONE

While falling in love may not be in your control, loving someone in completely your own choice. Once you fall in love with someone, it is up to you to decide the next step. You need to decide whether you want to start a commited relationship with this person. You need to decide whether you are prepared to give in all your time and efforts towards starting a new life.

And you need to decide whether you are ready to love all their flaws as much as you love the good things about them. This is where selflessness comes in. This is where you learn to put someone else’s needs and desires above yours. This is where you decide to accept and love someone for all their imperfections and not despite them. This is where you start to think of ways to fill someone else’s life with love rather than thinking up of ways to fill the voids in your own.

Loving someone does not necessarily imply that all your old feelings of passion, excitement, and crazy love are just going to die down forever. It just implies that your love for this person becomes more realistic. You will not feel the need to “own” this person forever, the need to make a permanent mark, the need to convince them to be yours forever. You will not feel these needs because you are confident and secure about the love that you are giving them. You have developed a trust in yourself as well as your partner.

Although a little bit of jealousy is natural in a relationship but obsession and controlling behavior are not sing of true love. Sure, you might be a little  obsessive about your partner a the very start but once you actually learn to love them. You will not feel this need. You will give each other the space to grow, to be independent, to love your own lives and to develop into the amazing individuals that you were always destined to become.

When you truly start to love someone, you become more aware of the potential problems and issues that your relationship can encounter. You prepare yourself for them. And you work towards resolving them together. Rather than giving up and leaving at the sign of the very first fight. You are thankful for this amazing love that you are received and you are determined to make the circumstances. This love is not a chemical romance and it is not something temporary. You don’t need a constant excitement to remind you of its existence. You don’t need to search for other ways to find true happiness.

Why she can’t allow herself to believe that you love her?

Dear Men,

I know you are confused. Maybe a little frustrated, even. You see her, all parts of her, the good and the bad! And you can’t help but fall in love with each and every one of them. You can’t help but feel like all those flaws and all those imperfections that she tries to hard to hide are exactly what make her truly beautiful. And you can’t help but feel like devoting your entire life towards making her feel as beautiful and perfect as she actually is.

Just she won’t believe you. She just won’t let herself go. And she just won’t understand how it is even possible for you to feel that way for her. This drives you crazy. It makes you feel helpless. You feel like you would do absolutely anything to make her see herself through your eyes for just a minute. You feel like taking away all of her pain and insecurities once and for all and filling her life with the kind of happiness she truly deserves. You feel like you just want to break through that wall she has built around her. And you just can’t seem to understand why it was ever built in the first place. I know you want to break through, I know you want to understand, I know you want to give her true happiness, and I know you want her to really believe you when you tell her you love her.

But it’s just not that simple for her. It’s not simple because people made her promises that they could never even keep. Because she’s lost so much of her self-esteem that she doesn’t even feel like she deserves the love you are giving her. Because too many people have entered her life and then just left, without any reason, without any guilt, and without a warning. She doesn’t want you to be one of those people. She doesn’t want more broken promises. She doesn’t want to lose the little bit of self-esteem that’s still left. But she does want to believe you. She does want to give you a chance. She does want to trust you enough to give her the love she deserves. She really does, but life has given her too many reason to not trust the people who say they “love” her. She has seen and felt so much in this short life of hers. She had moments where she felt like the pain just wouldn’t end, like there was nothing left to fight for, like it wasn’t even possible for her to breathe. Moments where she had no reason to get up in the morning because even if she did, she would spend the entire day feeling just emptiness and nothing else. Moments that made her feel like there was not even an inch of hope left in her life. Moments that just tore her soul apart. Moments that still seem unreal.

Just the thought that you might actually love her makes her scared beyond words. It makes her want to run away and hide from what will follow. It makes her recall all the times when she saw all her hopes and dreams come crashing down right in fornt of her eyes. She’s no stranger to what this love will entile. She knows how it works all too well, it actually feels like a pattern now. A guy comes along, he makes her smile, he makes her feel special, he makes her fall in love, he gives her some amazing moments, he slowly becomes the center of her entire life, and then? He just leaves. Where does the “love” suddenly go away? When has it ever stopped from fading away with time? Who will fill that unbearable void in her life now? She doesn’t want fall back into that same old trap. She doesn’t want to believe in this “true love” of yours and end up being vulnerable to the possibility of it being just a temporary obsession. She doesn’t want to have you for a while and then be forced to just forget you even existed. She’s scared because being alone feels like a better option than living with the possibility of getting her heart-broken again.

It’s not necessary that she’s still broken, that she still cries herself to sleep every night just thinking about how much she misses that one guy, or that her life is still completely stuck on that one bad time she had to face. It can go both ways. It’s possible that she might be completely healed by now or she might still feel all the pain of her past and the insecurities she felt creep up inside her over and over again. Whatever tha case might be, that’s not your main problem. That’s not the main obstacle you have to overcome to finally be with her. How she feels about herself and her present life doesn’t really matter at this point because somewhere  along the way, when she gave it her all and still couldn’t make it work, when that one guy who meant the world to her didn’t even think twice before leaving her, and when everything around her seemed to be falling apart, she just stopped believing in true and endless love. And this loss of faith isn’t because of just one single experience. Maybe it happened because of that time when the most important person in her life left her all alone, hurt and broken or maybe it happened when her friend’s guy cheated on her even though they seemed like the most perfect couple or maybe it was because of how she never saw any real love and affection between her parents or maybe it was the effect of all these things combined. Everything she saw and everything she felt just seemed to point at one simple truth. Love is temporary. And no matter how hard she tries to look at the bright side, no matter how hard she tries to convince herself otherwise, and no matter how badly she wants to believe in some never-ending love, all the sad stories around her just seem to overpower all the happy ones.

And she understands the fact that you can’t blame just one person when a relationships ends. She isn’t some psycho who is out to hate and plot revenge againts every guy in the world just because one of them made the mistake of breaking her heart. She is wise. She does try to understand things from all perspectives. She knows that sometimes, good people are also capable of doing the most horrible things. She realizes that breaking someone’s heart is not a very hard or impossible thing to do. And she feels that she can’t even blame her ex for slowly falling out of love with her because it’s a perfectly normal thing that can happen to anyone and at any time. So she doesn’t want to give you or herself that chance.  She doesn’t want to open your lives up to the possibility of experiencing a love that probably won’t even last. She doesn’t want you both to have it all and then lose it in the blink of an eye. All she really wants is for you both to be protected from the tragedy that love sometimes becomes.

Or maybe you have been looking at all of this from a completely wrong perspective. Maybe the only reason it’s so hard for her to believe that you love her is because she wasn’t the person who was left behind or hurt or broken up with in the first place. Maybe she hasn’t spent a single day crying over the one that left. Maybe she was NEVER the one who was left all alone feeling utterly worthless. Maybe she was at the other end. Maybe  she was the one who was breaking someone else’s  heart. And it’s not like she did it on purpose, it’s not like she didn’t try to make it work, it’s not like she enjoyed putting him through so much pain, and it’s not like the confused and depressed face of her ex-lover doesn’t still haunt all of her dreams. She loved him just as much as you claim to love her. She told him how perfect he was right at the start just like you did. And when they started off, she felt strong faith in the fact that this relationship was going to be the one that lasts. But after a few years, after the initial passion had died down, and after their relationship had reacted that point of monotony which all relationships reach, it just stopped feeling right to her. She still felt that love and affection (the amount that you are bound to have after all these years together) but she still didn’t feel like she could make it work any longer. And she just wasn’t ver sure if he was actually the one. She didn’t do it on purpose. She didn’t enjoy breaking this news to him. She didn’t want him to cry or scream or do any of the things that this breakup was bound to make him do.

And that’s exactly what scares her the most. She understands that you can love and care for a person deeply and still not want to be with them. She knows that when you actually want to leave and get out of a relationships, then no amount of time together and no amount of guilt can stop you from takingthat step. And she’s scared that this one time, you might end up being the one who leaves. She’s scared that she might be on the receiving end of the pain this time. She’s scared that karma might come and hit her rigth in the face and that she might get a taste of her own medicine.

You don’t need to show her some romantic movies or suggest a passionate novel or tell her tales of all the happy couples you have ever known. You don’t have to do all of that to make her realize what she’s missing out on. She is perfectly aware of how beautiful love can be.

She knows how it can make you feel like the happiest person in the entire universe, she knows how all the love songs and all those lame romantic comedies suddenly start to make sense when you have that special someone by your side, she knows about all the butterflies you constantly tend to feel, and she knows how love can make you smile at the smallest of things.

But she also knows how all those dreams and all those amazing moments can come crashing down in a single second! So she will prefer to stay on the safe side, she will prefer to live a life of ordinary moments than take the risk that’s attached with making your life extra-ordinary. She will choose to love a little less just to feel a little safer. She will keep her heart close to herself than handing it over to someone else. She will make sure that she always stays in control.

But when all is said and done, after everything has been explained, and after all the reason have been spelled out to you, there’s still a chance that some part of her does believe in your love. Somewhere deep down inside, there’s still a girl who longs for love, who feels like letting her guard down, who feels like facing each and every risk just to get that true happiness back, and who is ready to let you in.

But it won’t be easy to get that side out. You will have to explain to her extacly why you love her, not how much you love her. You will have to explain to her that you are just as scared and vulnerable as she is. You will have to show her with your actions and not just your words that she won’t have to face anything alone. You will have to make her understand that you are truly here to stay. You will have to prove that this is not some ordinary love. Because once you do all of that and once you show her that effort, she will definitely be worth it!